My favorite Aesop’s fable thus far:

A hunting hound seized a hare and attempted both to bite it and lick its chops at the same time. The hare tired of this and said:
“Hey you, either bite me or kiss me, so that I can know whether you are enemy or friend.”

This fable applies to an ambiguous man.

(This fable applies to an ambiguous man? What on earth is that supposed to mean? Clearly Aesop was just telling fun stories and the Victorian dude who was applying morals was stumped by this one.)