Are into some weird shit.

Through the walls we can hear them making noises. There’s two of them, a gay couple, and right now one of them is making these strange howling puking sounds interspersed with dry heaving. Earlier they were racing around their house making turkey gobbling noises at the top of their lungs. Before that one of them was making ebullient ‘ow’ sounds over and over again in a tone of delightful surprise.

I’d be worried about the dry heaving desperate puking sounds could I not hear the other guy slowly stomping around the house like a zombie adrift.

Now it sounds like an asthma attack, the heaving sounds having become strangled. They’re coming about twice a minute.

I can see what you’re thinking. Call the cops, call the neighbors, make sure everything is OK. But I’ve been living here eight months now and each morning they’re both outside, smiling widely as they do the gardening, happy and cheerful and right as rain. The perfect picture of a healthy couple.

The gasping has stopped. At least, it’s been silent now for over a couple of minutes. I’m going to ask them tomorrow if they need any help mucking out the fountain.