So there I was, playing IT specialist, sprawled out in a fancy leather office chair with a frozen computer before me. Outside was all brilliant Floridian sunshine and swaying palm trees, convertible stretch limos with jacuzzi’s in the back driving by blasting Flo Rida and homeless men passing out home made statues of the Virgin Mary, but inside I was stuck dealing with an intractable desktop. So I did what any rational human being does in such a situation and called the Microsoft helpline.

Fifteen minutes later I got through to a specialist who was going to help me with my problem. Thank god for warranties. I