OK, hello, so let’s have a little chat. Pull a chair up to the fire, that’s right, nice and cosy, keep it secret keep it safe. Blanket? Alright. Now, here we are, nice and comfy. Nobody but the two of us, us and the crackling fire, of course, but don’t mind him, he’s too busy consuming himself to care what we say. And what do we have to say? That’s the crux of the matter, isn’t it. What are we going to be writing about in our ‘March’ novel, ha, now ain’t that a laff. More like our April novel at this point, we being almost 60k words in the whole, it’s like a whole YA novel went missing around here. Under your cushion? It’s not under mine.
So, we need an idea that drives and inspires us, that gets our juices flowing and our engines running, our wheels turning and our fingers blurring. What do we want to write about? What kind of novel? Don’t just sit there scratching your nogging, lad, do some heavy lifting, use that brain of yours for something. What have you got?
Alright, a mystery thriller, something contemporary like Mystic River, something violent and passionate and whatever, good good, lovely bubbly. What else? Some sort of mad stream of consciousness thing? Well, interesting, and fun if you’re hyped up on coffee, but could you keep it up for thirty days, as the actress said to the parson?
Mind you, you need to be investing more time in The Grind Show. That old tart’s been languishing, what with his cover finished and people lined up to do more. Whatever happened to that kickstarter project? Whatever happened to the audiobook? Get your act together, sonny jim, or nothing much will be happening at all.
Oh, look at the time. How it does pass. Throw another log onto the fire, will you? Now. Back to the practice of writing a monthly novel. What about something different. A YA novel. Ah, yes, but we don’t know how to write those, do we now? We don’t really quite remember what it was like to be a self obsessed teenager. Still, it could prove simpler to mess up than a murder mystery. Let’s give it a little thought. What’s the supernatural in it? No, not vampires, no werewolves, no zombies or fallen angels. No, something nice. A novel idea. Not just a drop of the super in the setting, but a whole setting shift. What about rewriting my vampire city novel? That could be interesting, but you run smack into the same problems that plagued you the first time round.
Still, maybe, maybe. Despite my earlier warnings against vampires. Still, that idea seems lodged in your chest. So think on. What about a YA novel where the world starts to break down? I’ve done people disappearing. What about something else? A world where people stop liking you? Where chunks of the earth begin to crumble and crack? Dinosaurs emerge from the depths of the earth? Where people start appearing from the future and kidnapping us, taking us forward in time to repopulate the ruined planet? That sounds fun, I’ll run with that.