Picture it: gorgeous spring day, the sunlight pouring down through the palm tree fronds and bamboo. Grace and I cook up lunch, consisting of asparagus fried with cranberries, a bowl of fresh spring greens, a sauteed veggie burger and a dash of Natural Goddess dressing (yum!) and out we go to sit in the garden and enjoy her brief lunch break. Idyllic.

Toward the end of the meal a spray of rain falls on my plate, left arm and shoulder. I shoot a surprised glance up at the sky, for it is a peerless blue, only to see a squirrel perched on a bamboo branch unleash another splatter of clear piss into the air directly above my head.

Luckily I am graced with the reflexes of any human being wishing to avoid being pissed on, so I leaped up and aside with an oath. More clear liquid across the remnants of my lunch and plate.

I stared up, incredulous, as the squirrel turned to check it’s aim. Grace was cracking up, and soon I was too. Ridiculously cheeky, that squirrel was! So I yelled up an oath at it, and then marched inside to shower.

Ah, nature.